How the system works here is so foreign to me, so out of my comfort zone. Lectures are held three times a week, are taught by different lecturers every week, and the lectures contain 100 to 300 students. SO different from tiny, personal, intimate Richmond courses. Then we have once a week tutorials which are much more like UR classes. Those in your lecture classes are split up into groups of 10-15 in order to have discussions about what is being taught in the lectures. Also, homework is not really a thing… so bizarre! We are just expected to do tons and tons of independent reading but are we never given assignments like "read chapter 5 of this book by Thursday" or "write a two page response to the article by tomorrow." Tutorials have some assignments but it hinges a lot on recommended (aka optional) readings. It's very difficult to stay motivated and to the do the work when you are not forced to. Especially for visiting students who are in this wonderful new place for such a short period of time and want to travel and don't want to spend hours in the Uni library.
All in all, I am fascinated by this system and by those who enjoy it/are committed to it. I think it's an enriching experience for me to be put so far out my academic comfort zone. It's all a part of the study abroad experience, having different experiences than the ones you have on a daily basis back at your home university (however, I am very happy I will only be sitting in 100-300 person lectures for only one semester).
It's really nice to be back into a routine. In addition to my classes, I have attended 10 dance classes over the past two weeks, and officially became a member of the Edinburgh University Modern Dance Society. To be back on the dance floor, turning, leaping, expressing myself through technical movement… I just really can't express how amazing it feels. It's been four years since I stopped dancing at a studio, and, even though it was the right decision for me at the time, thinking back on the decision always made me sad. But, here I can attend classes at my leisure! I plan to go to at least Jazz, Ballet, and Contemporary every week. (wish me luck with Ballet! haha)
Last week, I bought a Historic Scotland Membership which allows me to get into over 70 historic attractions in Scotland FOR FREE! With this pass, I have now walked right on into the Edinburgh Castle. Three times over the past week and a half, I took my lecture readings and my own personal books up to the Castle, claimed a bench, and read for hours while surrounded by my favorite structure in the world. I even wrote some of this blog entry while sitting in the Castle! When I was there last Wednesday afternoon, it was while I sat there reading in the Crown Square, looking at the Royal Palace and the Great Hall, that I had to remind myself that this was NOT normal. Getting to casually walk right into Edinburgh Castle and read on its grounds is not an everyday event; it is something very, very unique, something extremely special to me. Even though I can do it whenever I want now, I must NOT allow the experience to become casual. That is what I see as the most important thing I have learned while abroad so far: to not allow special moments to become casual. We must marvel in our surroundings and in our experiences, whether big or small! Nothing should be taken for granted. I will be having a lot of "big" experiences over the next three months and just because these experiences are more attainable, more at hand, does not mean that I shouldn't relish in the amazing opportunities I am able to have here. I must remember to look up from whatever I am reading at the Castle and really taken in where I am and just how fortunate I am to be there. The same goes for wherever else this semester takes me! Nothing is casual; nothing should be experienced casually. If I let an opportunity become a casual event, that opportunity will be good rather than great or magical or thought-provoking or even life-changing.
Last week, I bought a Historic Scotland Membership which allows me to get into over 70 historic attractions in Scotland FOR FREE! With this pass, I have now walked right on into the Edinburgh Castle. Three times over the past week and a half, I took my lecture readings and my own personal books up to the Castle, claimed a bench, and read for hours while surrounded by my favorite structure in the world. I even wrote some of this blog entry while sitting in the Castle! When I was there last Wednesday afternoon, it was while I sat there reading in the Crown Square, looking at the Royal Palace and the Great Hall, that I had to remind myself that this was NOT normal. Getting to casually walk right into Edinburgh Castle and read on its grounds is not an everyday event; it is something very, very unique, something extremely special to me. Even though I can do it whenever I want now, I must NOT allow the experience to become casual. That is what I see as the most important thing I have learned while abroad so far: to not allow special moments to become casual. We must marvel in our surroundings and in our experiences, whether big or small! Nothing should be taken for granted. I will be having a lot of "big" experiences over the next three months and just because these experiences are more attainable, more at hand, does not mean that I shouldn't relish in the amazing opportunities I am able to have here. I must remember to look up from whatever I am reading at the Castle and really taken in where I am and just how fortunate I am to be there. The same goes for wherever else this semester takes me! Nothing is casual; nothing should be experienced casually. If I let an opportunity become a casual event, that opportunity will be good rather than great or magical or thought-provoking or even life-changing.
Where I read spot #1
View from where I read
Where I read spot #2 (as sat where those people are)
Last weekend, I traveled for the first time on my
own. I took a train to Linlithgow, a small town a few miles outside of
Edinburgh. Because of my obsession/love for Mary, Queen of Scots, I had to take
the opportunity of a beautiful weekend to visit her birthplace, Linlithgow
Palace (which I got into for free with my Historic Scotland membership; OH
YEAH!) The Palace is now considered a ruin, so, from my few past experiences
with ruins, I expected on of two things: either a palace in really ruined, with
very little to actually see but a shell, or a still intact ruin that has many
possibly dangerous parts blocked off to visitors. To my great surprise and
excitement, Linlithgow Palace was neither of my two assumptions. It was a very
intact ruin that visitors could explore for hours! So many nooks and crannies
were open to visitors that I actually got lost once or twice! I spend a full
two hours exploring every inch of the ruin, and then I even spent a half hour
in a particularly adorable little corner reading my biography of Mary, Queen of
Scots. It seemed appropriate.
Entrance to the Palace today
Newest part of the Palace
Oldest part of the Palace which contains the Great Hall
My favorite passage way
View of Linlithgow Loch from a window in the Palace
The old chapel
One of many very narrow spiral staircases
A dark nook or cranny… take your pick
Although the floor is gone now, the second floor of this area was where Mary, Queen of Scots was born. You can see the doorway to that room at the top of the picture.
The Entrance to the Palace when it was built by James IV in the 15th Century
The corner where I read my biography of Mary :)
Visiting Linlithgow
Palace was one of those magical experiences, and I am so glad I went alone. It
was strangely a very powerful, even emotional experience for me. There were so
few people there that is felt as if I had come upon the structure by accident
and spontaneously decided to venture into the historical unknown of its
crumbling walls. That’s always been a sort of fantasy of mine, discovering a ancient place and then uncovering its history. It’s difficult to put into words, but I
felt as if I was trespassing because I was so often alone in this ruin, and the
feeling that I was doing something forbidden added to my excitement. Once
inside, I felt centuries of energies emanating from the honey-colored stones
around me. I could feel the history, the past still making itself
known to us 21st century explorers. As I stood in the Great Hall, the oldest
part of the Palace, which is framed by high windows, three huge fireplaces, and
an open balcony looking down into the space, I could see what it once
looked like. I could see the lavish tapestries
on the walls, the long tables lined with heaps of food, the stunning hammer beam roof, and the 15th
century guests walking about, laughing, flirting, dancing, singing, feasting,
scheming. Being on my own in this place allowed my third eye to open, enabling
me to imagine, see, and even feel
what was once inside each barren space, who walked around the many levels of the Palace, and what
events conspired within the walls. I have been to countless historical
locations in the US and abroad and never
have I experienced an abandoned place, a place now only open to tourists, that
was still so alive with the events
and inhabitants of its past.
The Great Hall with the balcony
The large windows of the Great Hall
The three huge fireplaces (their openings are taller than me)
The balcony over the Great Hall
Afterwards, I took the 2.3-mile walk around Linlithgow Loch, the beautiful body of water that all windows of the Palace look out
onto. I walked for a while and eventually found a bench situated along the loch
that faced the façade of the Palace situated on a slight hill across the loch.
Here, I sat and read more of my Mary, Queen of Scots, biography before
continuing along the rest of the path, and eventually making it back around to
the Palace where I sat once more to read. I felt very accomplished when I
returned to Edinburgh, this trip having been my first ever solo venture. It
will definitely not be my last!
the view from the bench where I sat and read
Linlithgow Loch
View from where I sat and read before returning to the train station
During this past week of classes, tutorials began
which meant actually having to do homework. I also continued to go to my dance
courses and to the university gym. I attended a very easy, lack-luster, but
still fun Zumba class and then a Spin class, which I must say was the most
intense workout experience of my life!
This past weekend, I went on two daytrips to three
different castles. On Saturday, I traveled with my friend Chloe to Stirling,
less than an hour outside Edinburgh. Chloe is a first-year from New York who is
in both my Celtic and Medieval Scottish History courses. She is just as
obsessed with the Tudors (particularly Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn) as I am with the Stewarts
(particularly Mary, Queen of Scots), so we mesh really well! We toured Stirling
Castle (free again J), but I
must say it was the views from the Castle that were my favorite part. Isn’t it beautiful?!
Mary was coronated at Stirling Castle, officially becoming Queen at
nine-months-old, and then she spent the first 5 years of
her life within its walls before being transported to France for her safety for
the next 13 years of her life. When she returned to Scotland at 18, she spent a good
amount of time living in Stirling Castle. Her son, James VI of Scotland (and
later James I of England) was baptized at Stirling and she hosted the most
elaborate, expensive party at the Castle to celebrate (it was in 1566 and it
included a killer firework display).
Mary of Guise's (Mary QoS's mother) Royal rooms (redone to look like it might have looked)
The Great Hall at Stirling, repainted to look like the entire Castle probably looked when it was built
Royal Apartments at the Castle built by James V, Mary's father
The Great Hall interior
Chloe and I taking the thrones in the Great Hall
After leaving the Castle, we took a bus to the tiny
town of Doune, 30 minutes from Stirling. We then walked through the town and eventually reached Doune Castle. Doune Castle is famous for a number of reasons.
First, a great deal of the beloved film, Monty
Python and the Holy Grail was filmed there. But, more importantly for me,
the Castle was used as Winterfell Castle in Game
of Thrones season 1 and as Castle Leoch in my new favorite TV show (also
based off a book series), Outlander.
Similar to, but smaller than, Linlithgow Palace, it is a ruin which one can
explore at some length.
Me outside Doune Castle
Courtyard
"me make fire!!" Me inside the MASSIVE fireplace in the Castle kitchen (seen in GOT)
"Chloe make fire!!" Chloe inside the smaller fireplace upstairs
Ye Old Privy, ladies and gentlemen
I'd take this as my bedroom
The Great Hall (used in GOT)
Chloe in one of the small bedrooms
I <3 Scotland
I have no idea how the women in those massive dresses walked up and down all these tiny spiral staircases
I totally belong in the Middle Ages. Things were more my size back then.
I realized while I was touring Doune Castle that I
prefer castles, ruins, palaces, old buildings in general to be left alone.
Preserved of course! But otherwise left alone as opposed to transformed into
what they may have looked like back in their heydays. Both the royal rooms at
Stirling Castle and at Edinburgh Castle have been repainted and decorated to
look as historians expected they looked during particularly eventful periods of
each Castle’s history. I prefer the crumbling/exposed/faded stonewalls of
Linlithgow and Doune. I prefer to use my imagination. I feel that modern paint
and false furniture is sort of an insult to the energies of the past that still
exist in these spaces. Maybe that sounds silly, but that is honestly how I
feel. I feel that those fake things put a veil over the historical reality that is still very present. We
should not be ashamed to show modern-day tourists the bare bones that remain of
these structures. We should not be ashamed to ask visitors to work, to use
their knowledge and imaginations to reconstruct what no longer remains.
On Sunday, I ventured out on my own once more. I
knew from earlier in the week that this solo journey would not be nearly as
easy as the one I took to Linlithgow. I wanted to visit Loch Leven Castle, a
ruin on a very tiny island in the middle of Loch Leven in the tiny Scottish town of Kinross. It was in this Castle that Mary was forced to
abdicate her throne to her infant son, where she miscarried twins, where she was held prisoner for a year at
age 23, and where she managed to escape. Sadly, she soon taken by the English and officially
exiled to England to spend the rest of her life imprisoned by Queen Elizabeth I. To get to Loch Leven, I had to take a Megabus to Kinross. First I had to walk over a mile to find the Edinburgh Bus Station. Then, once arrived in Kinross, I had to walk another mile to the loch (I had no idea whether this mile involved sidewalks or was just on the side of the road. Happily, there were sidewalks :) )Then, I had to take a 10 minute ferry ride to the island. And I made it! AND, for about 40 minutes, I was the only person on the entire island, left to explore the small grounds and Loch Leven Castle all by myself.
Loch Leven
Loch Leven with the Island with the Castle on it in the distance
Loch Leven Castle
Inside the courtyard of the Castle
Again, my third eye awakened, allowing me to feel the deep sorrow that surrounded this place. Mary, Queen of Scots, became no longer a Queen in this place and soon after being forced to abdicate she miscarried twins, not to mention she was locked away here (by her own Scottish subjects no less) for the entire second year of her only son, James', life! She was 23 years old when she was locked away here, not much older than myself. As much as I enjoyed exploring the island alone, I can't image what it must have been like to be told, "You canNOT leave this tiny piece of land. You are no longer our Queen. You canNOT see your son." Just heartbreaking.
Room where Mary abdicated, where she lost the twins, and where she was kept at the start of her imprisonment
Looking down on that room
It was in on the second floor of this area that Mary was kept for the majority of her imprisonment
The second floor where Mary was kept
After exploring what is left of the Castle, I sat "in the Great Hall" (see below) and read more of my biography of Mary. Interesting fact: Mary came to the Castle once before her imprisonment when she was 21 and had a heated conversation about religion in the Great Hall with the famous Protestant reformer, John Knox. She was "a Catholic" but really she used religion throughout her life to manipulate situations. She was not an actual devout religious practitioner. Anyway, I sat for about an hour reading and making sure to look up at my surroundings every once in a while to make sure I was appreciating the amazing experience I was having.
What remains of the Great Hall
My view from where I sat and read. This is the part of the Castle where the family who owned it lived and later where Mary was imprisoned
Battlements of the Castle
Yup, more narrow spiral stairs
Kitchen inside the main part of the Castle
I then returned to Kinross on the ferry across Loch Leven. As the boat speed from the island, I imaged Mary hiding in a boat, a boy rowing furiously helping the ex-Queen escape her confinement across this very loch. I imaged her looking back at the island where she had been kept for the past year with excitement and with optimism. As she sailed away from her first prison, did she think she would truly be able to escape, be free, fight to get her throne back, and maybe succeed? Or was she more pessimistic, thinking her chances of being free, with both Scots and the English after her, were very slim? Did she ever image that her one year imprisonment in Loch Leven Castle was actually extremely short compared to the 19 years of castle-hopping imprisonments ahead of her? This is where my mind went as the island and its castle became smaller and smaller in the distance.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed my novel! And a very personal one at that! Like my Oxford blog, these posts are as much journal entries for me as they are updates for my family and friends. I hope you have enjoyed learning about my spirit animal, Mary Queen of Scots, because I will certainly be sharing more of her fascinating and heartbreaking story in future posts. I'm off to actually do some work for my tutorial tomorrow (work while I am abroad?? What?!).
Bye for now! :)
